Stream of Consciousness Sunday IV

I am sitting under dryer as I type this. The dryer and my hair have absolutely nothing to do with this post, but in the interest of full disclosure, I thought I would share. 🙂

My cousin/friend…friend/cousin is in the hospital. He has sickle cell. He had a crisis and is currently in a coma. We haven’t been as close as we were in high school and college but there is absolutely no love lost. If you pray, please pray for him. It isn’t looking good, but everyone is keeping hope alive


I was really shocked at my reaction when I walked into the hospital room FRiday morning. I got the call Wednesday that he was in the hospital and in a coma but for some reason I didn’t rush over immediately. He has a sickle cell crisis every year and I was hoping by the next day everything would be fine. BUt it wasn’t…and once my friend asked me when I was going to go I decided that since the hospital is walking distance from my apratment (yes that’s what I said) I could go before work. How long would I really stay because…well…he is in a coma. I haven’t seen or spoekn to him in years…if it wasn’t for FB I wouldn’t know what was going on with his life. BUt for some reason when I walked in that room I could not stop crying. I only stayed for 20 minutes and there were about 18 minutes of active crying. Like boo-hoo ugly cry. I am super emotional…I cry at commercials, but I was not expecting that. I pulled myself together and headed to work…Much to my surprise I start crying on the cross town bus…and later in the day I have to close my office to let my emotions out. I just started to think about all of the memories we had and how my heart ached when I saw him just laying there hooked up to so many machines and not breathing on his own.

I went back to visit FRiday night…I felt a little faint and I had to excuse myself from the room. I told my Mom and she said its because I’m not used to being around sick people…which is true. I didn’t cry the second time but I almost fainted. Sigh…If it isn’t one strong reaction its another. I wanted to go back Saturday and today but I couldn’t do it. There has been no change and I am not sure what reaction I will have the 3rd time I go…

SIlver Lining? Well not exactly a silver lining but I have not been medicating my emotions with food. I have been exercising and eating within my points. Food won’t make him wake up…I’m glad I know that. 

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post at
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

2 thoughts on “Stream of Consciousness Sunday IV

  1. Fadra says:

    I understand this post so well. My brother had a serious chemical burn accident many years ago. I was still a kid but after a few days, my mom took us to the burn unit to see him. It’s not a pretty place to be anyway but when we walked in and I saw my brother, all I could do was cry and run into the bathroom.

    I recently went to a funeral for the elderly mother of a friend of my mom’s (i.e., no one I really knew). I walked in and I could not keep it together. Emotions can be so overwhelming and it’s at least good to let it out. Hope your friend is doing better.

  2. ktcheval says:

    I will be praying for your cousin, Clu.

    Sickle cell is so scary. I have the trait. I jokingly told my sister that before I go on a date with a guy I’ll ask whether he has the trait. I was kind of serious, though, and this is why. It is a terrible disease. And people don’t realize how bad it is.

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