I think I am officially going on sabbatical…
DISCLAIMER: I am not judging anyone and their decisions in the bedroom. Since I am not in your bedroom, I could honestly give two shits…do you!
Now with that being said…I have a new story for my blog family!
Oh…DISCLAIMER II: I can’t sugar coat this entry so I will have to say exactly what he said…sorry
So Friday after work I decide that I need…no dammit I deserve a pedicure. So I wander a few blocks…an hour and $40 later my toes are fabulous and I am walking to the subway station. Minding my business…staring at my toes (this pedicure is really tight yall!) out of no where this guy is next to me. Hmm k…cute…athletic…but I don’t think anything of it. He starts to make small talk and he walks with me for a block. We arrive in front of a Barnes & Noble and he asks me if I want to join him for some coffee…
ehhh…why not? I am not in a committed relationship…I am talking to someone…but we aren’t exclusive…sure…what’s a drink?
So we chat for a few hours (he talks ALOT!) and eventually we exchange numbers and part ways.
Ok…fast forward to Tuesday. We have chatted a few times, exchanged texts and even made plans to see a movie Wednesday evening (yeah…I SHOULD be on a date right now). It hits me sometime last evening that I never explicitly asked him if he was in a relationship…so I send him a quick text because I DO NOT assume that because he approached me and asked me out that he is single…ok…no girlfriend/never been married. cool. (how did I forget to ask that?)
After he clarifies that he is not in a sexual relationship with anyone…he feels the need to talk about se.x. Now…I do NOT talk about se.x with a new guy…especially one that I have met less than a week ago. That is a quick way to go from potential partner to jump off before you can finish your sentence. Anyway…he sent me a text
Guy – I am submissive in the bedroom
Clu – Submissive?
Now…the rest should be my fault because I know good and damn well what submissive means…but I wanted to see how far he would go…
Guy – Yeah. I like a woman to wear leather, brandish a whip and use a strap on dildoe on me occasionally
Clu – ?
Guy – Yeah…that’s what a dom.inatr.ix does to their sl.ave.
Clu – slave?
See…this is me pushing again…I know what the hell he means. I should have stopped while I was ahead
Guy – Not a real sl.ave…just a s.ex sl.ave
Clu – Hmm k…dil.do?
Guy – Oh sorry…dil.do. Its funny that I misspelled that. I have so many! I like my glass one the best
And this my friends is where I am rendered speechless. I mean…is this what’s hot in the streets right now? I was so confused…what about me made this guy think that in LESS THAN A WEEK it would be ok to share se.x stories?!? Like seriously? I don’t know your last name but I know your favorite dil.do?!?
Now I am not that naive…I know things like this go on…but I am just so confused because when I told him that I would have to respectfully pass and wish him the best (typical non confrontational, hate to hurt peoples feelings Clu…I was trying to be as nice as possible!)…he got mad! Suddenly I had hom.opho.pic issues, I didn’t understand the pro.stat.e and how men like it stimulated and this was a cultural barrier (no…he was not black (not like it should matter)) I receive multiple texts and a frantic voicemail telling me that we need to straighten this out…its just something he enjoys on occasion and I have his se.xua.lity confused.
So I don’t call him back…I do respond to his text messages and let him know that although this may be something he enjoys “occasionally” it is not something I am open to…he is open to it which is fine…but why waste time with someone when we know we aren’t compatible? I wished him the best…he wished me luck in finding someone “suitable”…and my toes are still fly!